Why I Cried Not On The First, But The Fourth Day Of My Daughter’s School.

First appeared – http://www.yowoto.com/posts/why-i-cried-not-on-the-first-but-the-fourth-day-of-my-daughter-s-school

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At first, I couldn’t wait for my few hours of freedom, but then something in me changed

The first day was more of a celebration because it was a big milestone in both our lives.
In the last two years, we had never been away from each other for more than an hour.
And now it was going to be four hours of separation.
I thought I would be wiping my tears and my nose with the back of my sleeve when I leave her at school. I almost did, but it wasn’t because I was sad to leave her, it was more of a reaction to her loud bawling and screaming.
In fact, deep inside I was happy that now she is ready to carve her own world, one friend at a time.
And I, was eagerly waiting for my four hours of freedom.
Then came the fourth day.
I handed her to her teacher, she cried, this time without a single tear.
The teacher took her to the playground and, she was fine. Soon, she got busy with the swings, the slides and the little bikes.
I was out of sight and out of her mind, for that moment atleast.
I stood by the door for a few minutes wanting to hear her bawl.
But I only heard silence.
That’s when I cried. That’s when I felt my heart ache.
A part of it was ecstatic to know that she was settling in, while the other was sad because slowly she won’t need me as much as she did before.
I had been her audience, her teacher, her hug for every single minute of those two years.
Now, she might not have a hug for whenever she falls. But, she’ll have stories, her own stories that I’m eagerly waiting to hear.