Happiness is a piece of sh#t.

It was Mother’s Day.

‘What would you like to do today?’, asked the husband in a cheerful tone on behalf of my 2.8 year old who had no inkling what Mother’s Day meant.

She thought it was my birthday. So she sang ‘happy birthday to you Mumma’ in her happiest voice, asked if there was a cupcake and on refusal went back to her usual business of leaving little bits of playdoh all around the house.

Facebook was flooded with loving messages for mothers from sons and daughters. Pictures of happy mothers having pancakes, sipping wine, getting pampered were obediently making their rounds for the world to witness.

Yes, it was Mother’s Day.

And it was a day of immense pressure.
I had begun the process of teaching my toddler where to go if potty calls. It had only been two days since she was left without the safe, protective covering on her butt.

If you thought raising a child is tough try potty training that child. It is a process like everything else. And it’s a fact that potty training parents release endorphins on the mere sight of poo.

So, on this auspicious day the pressure within was mounting by the hour.

Every time I smelled a tiny fart, I would politely remind her to make a trip to the bathroom. But she seemed unshaken.

I waited.

In the Facebook world people were posting happy Mother’s Day quotes and pictures by the minute and in my world the tiny farts were turning into massive canon balls of nose numbing farts, by the second.

But I kept my cool and once again reminded her to make a trip to the bathroom. You see, you cannot look stressed or angry or irritated when you are teaching a toddler to do her business in the right place. It defeats the purpose.

So you put on that smile and pretend that you are smelling the fragrant flowers and walking bare feet on a bed of green luscious grass, all relaxed.

No sign of the real stuff yet.
Now the waiting game included nursery rhymes, stories, and endless conversations to relax the trainee’s mind.

And then, the poo face appeared.

I sprinted towards the little green baby potty, still keeping my cool because you don’t want to overwhelm your toddler and scare away the poo.
I threw my fist in the air in slow motion as I experienced the euphoric sight of baby poo in the pot. Only a mother knows what that means to her. It takes over everything else that exists in the universe.

Yes it was Mother’s Day.

And happiness on this day can arrive in any form.

For some mothers it was an hour of uninterrupted sleep.

For others it was their baby’s first smile.

For me, it was real sh#t in the pot.


4 thoughts on “Happiness is a piece of sh#t.

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